Headline
I Was Called a Grub-Killer!
MELBOURNE (GREAT TREE) — The long-awaited Royal Commission on Anti-Reptic Behavior and Animal Cohesion slithered into its fourth block of hearings yesterday, focusing on the lived experiences of Reptilian students and staff at the nation’s top burrows of higher learning. Chaired by the venerable Jus ...
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Woke
200-page affidavit to hide Identity
Witnesses to alleged anti-reptic slur at paw-ball game in Sydneigh granted anonymity by judge
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Social
Top Reptilian Leader Hisses Stark Warning
Austailia’s ‘Safe Basking-Spot’ Image Cracked Like a Turtle Shell
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Social
Poor BAA-PLAN Scores Could Lead to a Life of Being the Herd’s Squeaky Wheel
Latest BAA-PLAN results reveal one in three students are failing to meet basic standards
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Woke
Woke Austailian Police Raid Dens of 7
Students Over Schoolyard Specist Insult They Didn’t Even Utter
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Politics
Austailians Celebrate After Renaming of Fawnklin Electorate Abandoned
After a native marsupial war leader who massacred placental women and their pups
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Business
GOVERNMENT JABS $2M INTO BIRD FLU VAX
ANTI‑VAXXERS SLAMMED AS ‘SPECIST, ANTI‑REPTIC BEAKS’
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